I am back from my first real vacation in over 10 years. It was just a week, but it was a good one, and I had in my company some delicious geek boys and a terrifying little wooden deity.

For all of last week I was in Cavendish, Prince Edward Island. Cavendish is the real-life name of Avonlea, setting to the Anne of Green Gables books and a few others written by Lucy Maud Montgomery. It’s here where L.M. Montgomery went after her mother’s death, to live with her grandparents in a perfect little place now far from where she’s now buried, and where she wrote Anne of Green Gables. I can finally understand how literary genius was bred in such a small, insignificant place, because there really is nowhere like it in the world. Those first scenes in AoGG in which Anne prattles in awe of everything she sees is spot on: Cavendish is like an emerald with flecks of amber and violet. You remember the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy opens the door and everything goes from sepia to Technicolor? This is Cavendish.

But as lovely as Cavendish was, it had nothing on Park Corner. This is the location of Silver Bush, Ingleside, and the infamous Lake of Shining Waters. I’ve been trying to describe the lake to those who haven’t seen it, and it’s impossible. You just have to stand there on the banks and stare off until a car passes by and brings you back to reality. The way the red sand under the water meets the reflection of the blue sky gives the water a violet appearance that is so beautiful and serene you get lost in it.

Of course, being in the Land o’ Anne, I walked away having spent far too much on books than I should have. All of the more obscure titles like A Tangled Web and Magic for Marigold were scooped up at various gift shops, and I even managed to snag a copy of Among the Shadows, which is a compilation of Montgomery’s supernatural-themed stories (actually, I drove across the island looking for Shadows only to find it in the used bookstore right next to my cottage …) There is also an abundance of escapist fiction in beach & cottage country. I had a suitcase loaded with old school romances and the complete Casteel series by V.C. Andrews when I came over the bridge. With all the sight-seeing and shopping the only time I did any reading was in the evening, and as it turned out I had brought with me some deliciously geeky boys.

Mary Janice Davidson’s Derik’s Bane
I’d gushed over MJD’s Beggerman, Thief and so when I was loading up at the bookstore I had to add something with her name on it. I’m so glad I picked this. Derik, the Pack underling turned Alpha is sent to collect Sara Gunn, who is the reincarnation of Morgan Le Fay. She’s not aware of this fact until Derik enlightens her (after she kicks his ass and duct-tapes him to a chair, that is). Derik is just so doofy you can’t help but gush over him. His first few times scoring with Sara is cringe-worthy, adding to his doofiness, and he’s a Rachel Ray fangirl. Honestly, how can one not squee! over such geekiness? The part that had me spitting my tea across the deck was his hanging his head out the window as he and Sara drove cross-country. The mental image of this made the scalding nostrils worth it. My only problem with the book is that it refers to characters and events from Davidson’s e-books, which I think were all published by Red Sage, but the story was still easy to follow and I was left resisting the urge to buy her entire catalogue from RS as soon as I finished Derik’s Bane.

Christopher Moore’s A Dirty Job
Whenever I read something by Christopher Moore, I’m convinced that I’m going to be disappointed the next outing and it hasn’t happened yet (although I am having trouble getting into Fluke.) A Dirty Job takes place in the same universe as Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck. I honestly didn’t think another Moore hero could eclipse my love for Tommy Flood and Tucker Case, but Charlie Asher did it, and he brought his kid into the mix. Charlie is a pawn-shop owner and first time father, and with his wife’s death he discovers that he’s a Death Merchant, whose role is to collect souls from the recently departed and make sure they are passed on to a body in need of a soul. The book takes the reader through the first five years of fatherhood with Charlie and like all of Moore’s books, the underdog hero is supported by a cast of absurd characters including two hellhounds. Sophie Asher, Charlie’s five year old daughter, is adorable and funny and even though you can see her role in the grand scheme of things a mile away she’s the perfect complement to Charlie. Sadly, it looks like Moore is closing the book on this story arc that began with Bloodsucking Fiends. I hope it’s not permanent – I would love to see a third vampire story with Tommy and Jodi.

Ray Garton’s Graven Image
After a little bit of whining I was given the opportunity to read Graven Image, which is a rare novella written by Garton (who wrote Ravenous, which I mentioned in my last post) and while I really enjoyed it, it took a few days to get it out of my system. I read this while parked on a dirt road waiting for the ferry and this probably wasn’t the wisest course of action, seeing as after I finished I took a walk and discovered this gateway to hell:
I had the creeps for the rest of the day and in spite of the serenity of my cottage locale had me yanking the covers over my head when the lights went out and my heart jumping into my throat when the fridge clicked on. Graven Image is a terrifying little story that’s going to rear its hideous head every single time I see a crucifix and the film version is probably going to get Garton burned at the stake.

(I also want to mention that Garton, from the perspective of someone from the horror community, has weighed in on the recent fuckery by RWA in regards to e-publishers, so if you’re on Twitter, follow him for some great insight.)

Right now I’m in the beginning pages of Brian Keene’s City of the Dead, which is proving to be just as gory as The Rising, and I’m really excited to be reading Lexi Ryan’s Stilettos, Inc., which is getting great reviews (and from what I’ve read so far, well-deserved kudos.) My to-read pile might crush me before the end of the summer, but this helps: 16 Ways to Read More Books!

It’s always nice to find someone as anal about the to-read pile as I am.

En route to cottage and am posting from Pictou, Nova Scotia. My motel room leaves something to be desired, but it does have wireless internet (if you've been following me on twitter the irony of this should be killing you) and an ice cream stand 5 minutes away. Thus far I have driven all along the Sunrise Trail and gotten lost twice. I've discovered that upon sighting a sheep I will exclaim "Sheep!" with a girlish squee! but horses and cows do not do it for me. I've also decided that I want a penis because when you have to pee when you're on the road, aim and the ability to look casual while urinating in plain sight is an admirable thing.

All last week I was glued to my email with stuff flying back and forth, one of which was the acceptance of my story "Midday Ruckus" by Oysters & Chocolate. This story has been published before but the site it was hosted went under, so I was looking for a new home for it. It was my first attempt at humour, if memory serves me right, so I'm glad to see it going to a great home like O&C.

As I indicated, humour was the only thing keeping me from going postal for the last month, and my choices were excellent. First up was Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Darkside. Snarky vampire? Check. Heroine who can't stand him? Check. Comic mishaps? Err, not really. The comedy came from the snark. When things happened they usually went to dark places and involved death, and as the story went on the darkness became the predominant force in the story. Fantaskey also did what Stephanie Meyer failed to do with her half-assed attempt to recreated Wuthering Heights as a YA vampire story. Myer was obviously oblivious to the love-hate dynamic between Heathcliff and Catherine, but Fantaskey created a couple who love to hate one another and a hero who embodied Heathcliff in ways Edward Cullen never could.

The end of this YA novel absolutely kicked the ass of most adult paranormal romances I've read. I really cannot wait for Beth Fantaskey's next outing and I do hope that she ventures into adult paranormal romance territory one day (or at least follows up with a werewolf story.)

Another discovery I made was Dakota Cassidy. How did I not know about this author? Apparently I'm deficient, because I also did not know about Mary Janice Davidson. Cassidy brought the funny with She-Ro, available from Loose Id. From start to finish I laughed out loud while reading this. Andy is absolutely hilarious as a heroine and by putting this girly-girl in a Never Been Kissed-esque situation of having to go to a super school to learn super powers while surrounded by snotty teenagers honing their superhero skills. The opening scene is full of giggles,and a later scene involving an attempt to complete an obstacle course is pure fun. And the hero's name is Clarke Khent! I'm pretty much going to buy up everything Cassidy has ever written after this.

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Another read I was trying to hold off on is a complete departure from the humour I craved was Ravenous by Ray Garton. I had originally picked up his Bestial only to find out it was a sequel, and so my mission became to obtain this. Like the injection of humour, this dose of horror was what I needed. I'm kind of old school when it comes to werewolves--I don't typically enjoy romance werewolves because they always seem to be missing that complete lack of control that an old school werewolf has. I'm not sure who said it, but the saying is that the vampire is the seducer while the werewolf is the rapist. This is the catch to Ravenous - Garton's werewolves are violent, hairy beasts whose motivations are sex and food. This is a great small-town-under-seige story and had two scenes that I found to be absolutely chilling (one of which was unexpected), and he doesn't hold back one iota when it comes to the horrific actions of the werewolves. They're not only monsters but at the same time, the initial werewolf is everything we suburbanites fear - our safe little world being infiltrated by a scruffy drifter and there is nothing we can do to protect ourselves.

There's one scene that as a reader I suspected was coming, and man, was it ever good when it did: a particularly nasty character gets what's coming to him, but I didn't expect the way in which justice was delivered. It was better than I had anticated - reading-on-the-edge-of-your-seat good (Chapter 39, if anyone has read or plans to read -- hoo boy). I'll be reading Bestial next, and according to Garton there will be a third instalment, which doubles as the third instalment of his vampire series, which is now on my wish list (and according to IMDB, Ray Winstone is tied to the film version of Live Girls *pantpant*)

Also on my vacation to-read pile includes Briane Keene's City of the Dead; Dakota Cassidy's The Accidental Werewolf; Mary Janice Davidson's Derik's Bane; Lexi Ryan's Stilettos, Inc.; and a few others I threw in a bag/added to my Sony.

Just had to share this absolutely hilarious post by Jess @ Culinary Carnivale. It has completely derailed my evening of shaving and plucking a short story I had written over the weekend:

Hot & Steamy Outback Roo Shapeshifter...

Jack is a dreamer who is searching for his anchor in a dusty, turbulent world. He spends his evenings racing through the undergrowth of the Outback--while his days are occupied with working hard on his grandfather's opal mine and boxing (in his other form) for his uncle during on the weekends.

It is difficult being a shape shifter. It is even tougher being a sexy kangaroo shape shifter....especially a young, virile shape shifter who can hop all night long. Jack was known for playing around and hooking up with the other lovely Roo ladies that roamed the wilds at night. His back legs were the strongest and most muscular of all the males in the area, after all ...

The sad part about this is that my brain immediately went to Hugh Jackman in Australia as Jack. There just isn't enough liquor in the world to undo this mental image, folks.

http://culinarycarnivale.blogspot.com/2009/05/hot-steamy-outback-roo-shapeshifter.html